de·mean –verb (used with object) to lower in dignity, honor, or standing; debase. (source:
dictionary.com)
This past week, a whole lot of seemingly unrelated incidents coalesced to create some pretty strong feelings in me as a husband and a father trying to navigate the foul waters of our present day culture. The incidents included a men's Bible study, a homecoming parade, reading blogs, and an ad for Halloween costumes. This post will meander through that thought process. As I said, it seems at first a series of unrelated incidents, but all of them pointed, I think, to an important truth.
Last week at my men's Bible study we grappled with I Timothy 2:9-15, a passage that is often viewed in our world as demeaning of women. After all, it is in this particular passage that Paul writes: "Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man but to be in silence." (vs.11-12). Taken out of context, and taken with the feminist-influenced view that positions of authority and power are what matter most, this could indeed be viewed as demeaning.
But, taken as part of the whole of Paul's writings and the rest of Scripture the Bible speaks of those in positions of authority as loving servants. Indeed, as the men looked for practical application of this passage we were convicted with the need to strive to meet the heavy burden scripture places on men in their relationships with women both in the church, as this passage addresses, but especially with our wives, which Paul most directly addresses in Ephesians 5:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her...In this same way husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.
I can still recall attending a marriage conference with my wife in which
Joe Stowell was one of the speakers. As he spoke of the husband's responsibility as given in this passage he asked "Husbands, are you willing, every day, to go to the cross for your wives?" I was struck then, and every time I think about it, of the awesome burden of that. If I am to love my wife "in this same way" that Christ loves the church, I must be willing to give up as much for her as He gave up for us.
Now, what does this have to do with my opening paragraph? Just this, in our men's group our conversation over the I Timothy passage focused on the women in our lives, primarily our wives and daughters. If we love and live as the Bible commands, there can be no demeaning of these women. In fact, one of the men had a profound insight as we discussed the culture's opinion that the church demeans women. As he pointed out the styles of clothing and the types of behavior which our culture teaches girls by granting celebrity status to the likes of Anna Nicole, Britney Spears, Bratz dolls, etc. how can the culture dare say it is the church that demeans women? After all, it is the Word of God that tells us that men should treat women with dignity, respect and out of a desire to serve them, not objectify and use them.
to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. IN THIS SAME WAY, husbands ought to love their wives...
Now, all of that leads into some other events of the past week. First we have the Folsom Street Fair which, as was reported at
Michelle Malkin's blog, included toddlers dressed in studded dog collars exposed to the most vile and deviant behavior. Then there was the homecoming parade at the high school attended by our two oldest boys. In the midst of a fun event, a girl paraded past my two youngest (who were seated on the curb to view the parade) screaming about lesbianism. This was the parade contribution of our school's chapter of the Gay Straight Alliance.
Then, there was the Party City Halloween Costume ad, which a co-worker brought to my attention after we had discussed the prior events of the week and bemoaned the fact that children today, especially the girls, are denied their chance of innocence in this world and are exposed to too much sexualization.
If you haven't seen the ad, it is basically a catalogue of costumes divided by age categories. For the boys, there is the usual assortment of super heroes, pirates, sports costumes, etc. But for the girls, the selection is virtually an ad for a business serving the fetish market. In looking at the girls costumes, it is best to work backward from what is promoted to adult women to what is peddled to young girls. Both the costumes themselves, and the names given to them are clearly designed with sexual overtones.

So for the grown up girls, party city offers such gems as: "Sponge Bath Betty," "Playboy Sexy Scholar," "Playboy Racy Referee," and "Playboy Bootcamp Babe." Other pages of the ad feature "Corrupt Cop" with faux leather and "Mile High Captain."
It ain't the church that demeans women folks!But flip back to earlier pages in the ad and you see costumes for teens and girls, in other words children. This is where this topic merged into my men's group discussion. As fathers we all worried about raising our children in a culture that is depraved, especially with regard to our daughters.
We need to raise our daughters to know that their self worth comes from the fact that they are created in God's image, and that they are His children. But our culture seems to tell girls that their self worth is based on physical beauty, which has now been thoroughly corrupted into sleaziness. Corrupted so much so that Party City is peddling virtually identical, fetish-style costumes to both adults and children.
For teens:

Notice the similarity between the teen costume "Fashion Police" (second row, second from right) and the adult "Corrupt Cop" (bottom row, first from left). Or how about the "You Sexy Witch" costume for your teenager (fourth row, second from left).
Again I say it ain't the church that demeans women!Then we page back to selections for girls (i.e. younger than 13).

Party City's corporate officers apparently think girls (little girls) would look great as "Major Flirt" a sized down version of the teen "Army Girl" and the adult "Playboy Bootcamp Babe." Or perhaps you want to dress you pre-teen daughter as "Devilicious," "Devil Grrrl," or "Red Hot."
All of which makes me wonder just who is running this company and if they are registered in their home state as sex offenders. Can you honestly say you still think the church is doing the demeaning?
But, as a father I can tell you that the sad fact is that our culture as a whole is constantly pushing sexuality on our children. After all, Miller Brewing sponsored the Folsom Street Fair and I've heard a number of men say they feel like they can't enjoy a football game on TV with their kids because of the ads. This Party City ad just happened to come to my attention at a time when I was particularly focused on the issue of how the culture demeans and enslaves women and our daughters.
As a husband and father I must constantly be on guard against the foul influences of this culture and strive to raise my daughter to know that true freedom comes not from the world's definition but from the God who created her and knew her before she was born, who gave her talents and gifts and abilities, and the Savior who left heaven's throne to suffer and die for her. And, I must try to instill in my sons a respect for women as created in God's image. A respect that will grow to the point that they will someday love their wives as Christ loved the church.
It is a high calling, and it is getting more and more difficult to fulfill as our world sinks lower into depravity. I feel especially sorry for the younger fathers who will likely raise their daughters in an even worse environment. The goal is to raise them as Paul writes in Philippians 2:15&16 "...so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life..."
One thing is clear, if I want to protect the women I care about from being demeaned the church is great ally.